Thursday, March 5, 2009

Confused Again

I'm doing some searching this week about where I need to go to continue growing. I attend a Celebrate Recovery group, and on another night, an AlAnon group. The Celebrate Recovery is all women, the AlAnon a mixed bag (a mixed up bag?) of men and women, young and old.

This was a great combination for awhile, but lately I'm feeling like one meeting is an endless therapy session. Without a therapist. Week after week of women crying, hand wringing. The steps, a sponsor, moving forward; I</strong>'m not seeing it.

For several months, I came and cried and wondered why. But I'm goal driven. Every so often I assess my activities and interests, and I expect to be making progress. When I run every day, I do so for the purpose of getting faster or going further over time. It is a goal. If I go to meetings twice a week, I expect a better understanding of myself to result.

But am I just being my impatient, judgmental self? Others are on their own journey, and not everyone considers a new day a marathon in self improvement (physically and emotionally).

Maybe I need to chill, let people cry. Maybe I'm still trying to fix everybody Lou's way.

LuAnon-that's it!